You jokes
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!