Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
You Jokes
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call an emo's face?
Elmo's son.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll-up.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
