How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
You Jokes
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?
Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
