You jokes
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!