You jokes
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
Your forehead is so big, you got an eight-head.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.
"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
What do you call your mom?
My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.