You jokes

Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?

No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!

Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"

Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.

Do you know Bumo?

Bumo deez nuts.

You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!