You jokes
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
What did one tower say to the other?
Damn, you looking PLANE!
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.