Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
You Jokes
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
Like if you hate school.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
When you fail art school.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Have you heard about the Pokemon called "rhy rhy rhyde" on deez nuts?
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
