You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
You Jokes
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no bell" prize.