You jokes

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

You were supposed to be born in the tree.

The sticks were your siblings.

You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

Do you know what the hardest part of school is?

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?

A firecracker.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?

What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels!

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."