You jokes

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He was actually quite funny...

He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out).

Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."

You're so skinny that you fall.

Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?

It becomes a flee market.

How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.