You jokes

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

What do you say to a black midget?

Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?