You jokes

"If you can't win, lose."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

"You cannot win a war without a war."

-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?

Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"9/11."

"9/11 who?"

"You said you'd never forget!"

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.

Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.

Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.