You jokes

What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?

The 2028 US election.

Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?

Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

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  • My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

    So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

    I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

    My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

    Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

    What did the elephant say to the naked man?

    "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

    What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.

    Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

    Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Your dad.

    But my dad's dead.

    I know, just reminding you!