You Jokes

Armless

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

Party

Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?

Because you need to planet.

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  • Horse

    A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"

    The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"

    Rape

    What did Saskia say to Brandon?

    Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"

    Brandon

    Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.

    Hand

    Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

    Well, you gotta hand it to her.

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  • Canadian

    What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

    "It is ok, I forgive you."

    Razor

    If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

    Skeleton

    One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.

    Night Stand

    When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

    She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

    Father

    A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.