You jokes

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

What do you call a pool full of retards?

Vegetable soup.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

What goes in soft and comes out hard?

Gum, you whore!

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?

Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.

Jimmy: Your mom is gay.

Me: No, you.

Jimmy: I have no mom.

What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?

Nose-less.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"