What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What do you call a priest that is a furry? A catholic
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
