The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
You. You're the joke.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What do you call 8 x 3.14? Octopi
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
