You jokes
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."