Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
