You jokes
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Who are you?
Yourself.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.