You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.
Btw, you have to like all my posts :)
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool? Flip it over
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at? Cross-country
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
