Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
You Jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.