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My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

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    • So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

    "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

    And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

    The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

    So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

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    • Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!

    A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

    Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

    My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

    So I said, "But which one?"

    Guy feels something on his back.

    “Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

    “Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

    Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.

    If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

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