How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
You Jokes
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
"Send me back, I never liked you."
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?