You jokes

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

What do you call a PEIS?

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotopuss

If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak!

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."

You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.

Q: What do you call a sad soda?

A: Soda-pressing.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

How do you throw a space party?

You planet! 🤣🤣🤣

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"