You jokes
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
You are quite [something].
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
You are in the airway, how funny!
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.