Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
You Jokes
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
Wanna hear a joke? You thick.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!