You jokes
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What do you call a man with rubber toes??
Roberto
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
What is you you?
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."