What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
How do you throw a space party?
You planet 🤣🤣🤣
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you wont bring it back!"
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall, depneds on how hard you throw them
knock knock who's there olive olive who I love you
yo rob you for got to pay me cause u sucky sucky my thang aka your up for adoption
Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first doctor”.
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair”.
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news”. The doctor replies, “He’s dead”.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
