Newest Yesterday Jokes - Page 3

Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzaria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. Shit. My mum was like what did you just say child??? Sister: I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh...... Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

My sister made some pie and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... This pie is very sugarplum-y. She said what do you mean by that? I said It tastes like sugarplums...

I overdosed on viagra yesterday, It was the hardest day of my life

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping and I was starving so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times but nothing new was in their

A Chinese guy said to his friend : I saw you fucking your donkey, yesterday.

His friend : No , that's impossible , it's too hot inside.

hi this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic,where yesterday loss is today's sauce

I got detention yesterday vecause I called the group of emo kids the suicide squad

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

Say this when you answer a spam call... Hi welcome to bobs taco shack and funeral home. Wear yesterdays grief is todays beef.

Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it

(Phone call) This is Franks funeral home and grill where yesterday’s grief is todays beef. How may we help you ?

my teacher asked me what my favirote number was yesterday and i said 2977, i chose 91 for my football jersey number and sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher mr jacksons dad died in 9/11 and when he was talking about it friday the 9th i threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting monday

Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said “wow almost half leprechaun” then I said “yeah and 15 percent wall climber”

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination". I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? i tried to lighten up his day.

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday but it’s actually more of a rap

You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

Next time you get a call from them just answer the phone and say "Pizza Hut abortion clinic where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"