Time

StOryTelleR

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police. But it couldn’t help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows…

Priest

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a priest and McDonalds?

They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn’t come on a 5 year olds face

Car

Anonymous

i was listening to wap in my car with my four year old cousin and she asked why they dont fix the holes in the house then my fucking boyfriend what a hoe was and pointed to me i pushed him out of the car and my other boyfriend took the front seat

Car

Anonymous

i was listening to wap in my car with my four year old cousin and she asked why they dont fix the holes in the house then my fucking boyfriend what a hoe was

Time

Anonymous

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

Woman

Gwen

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old ladies house…

Oh my! Goodness sakes child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both

Train

Anonymous

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year

Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track

Fight

The_PUNisher

What do you call a food fight that’s been going on for years? A war of nutrition

Girl

TheJoker

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: mom next year for the carnival can I dress up as a princess? the mother replies: why? you don’t like the ice lolly dress from the last year?

Priest

Big_daddy_123

What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?

They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns

Depression

Anonymous

So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke… I was the joke😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒

Woman

I'm a woman.

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn’t go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, “How was this whole ordeal?” Viktor replied, “I’ve had better.”

People

That One Kid

My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said “If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away.” the next time my Aunt visited she said “Where is you daughter?” my Mom said “I took your advice”

Country

Anonymous

We’re skipping April fools day this year, the biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country

Year

2020 jokes

why is 2020 the wors year becuse covid 19

Kid

Gwen

Mom: Anna let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time and you the other half that way it will all be fair and I don’t have to put up with this crying, I’ve already got 7 others to take care of.

Anna: I do mom. I have Fred(younger brother) go up and I go down!

Mom: Good. NOW HOW 'BOUT THE REST OF YOU GO PLAY OUTSIDE IT’S BEAUTIFUL OUT THERE IT’S THE WARMEST IT’S BEEN ALL YEAR, 45 DEGREES BELOW 0!

Kids: WOW! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Name

Ello

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to… Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers… Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

Make

Zre

Dear Gwen. Gwen when I said sorry I ment that as a sarcastic why and point of veiw! Tbh u make me sick as a dog! also ur so annoying stop holding that anger in BTW I AM A SPECIAL CHILD! btw I am 6 years old btw! please comment good or not! Irdc!

Kick

Anonymous

There is this boy in my year , he is in a wheelchair so I kicked a football at him and pushed him and so then I shouted ROCKET LAUGE

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