New Year Jokes - Page 8 - Worst Jokes Ever

so dad is teaching his 8 year old son about the planets and said this is Uranus then the 5 year old son says where is my anus

if yall look up freshfry jokes ill come up, abt a year ago i had a bunch of friends on this app

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested it's factuality-

Well it's been some good years now Haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

IN memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the jackson Chocolte ice cream, it is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Happy new years 🍆🍑🍆🍑

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“

You get no bitches said the man to the 60 year old reckneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old. She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence( Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are and that's not anyone elses choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on 'churches and christianity'. I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to the anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of christian people and I respect that! NO REALLY I DO. My best friend is a dumbass christian just like you are, and I respect thats how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't a aussie, I note that Idfk what this is:" The people who defended Australia get 2 days, rememberance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community get YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biast. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get alot of hate from this I also don't give a shit, but please remember that its just my thoughts and opinion. Thankyou for reading. :)

What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o clock on new years. First kill of the match

I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments

A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers and orgasms. Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors ,witch door should you pick. The seventh door

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh. he never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”