World jokes
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
Hello friken world shitytytytytytyt.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
Why is Earth flat?
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.