World War II jokes
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"