World War II jokes
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.
What happened to people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? They swapped races.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.