Word jokes
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
Memes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."