Word jokes

There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.

Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

What were Steven Hawking's last words?

Error 404 File Not Found.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.

The F in orphan stands for family.

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

What does a cannibal call people in water?

Sea food.

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them?

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."