Word jokes

Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."

(I am a penis!) HA HA!

What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

Orphans

The “F” in orphan stands for family.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.

"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Miss Drake."

"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."

"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."

Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."

Actor 2: "Where's the b?"

Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"

Taja?

"How would you describe yourself in three words?"

"Lazy!"

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

Genie: What are your 3 wishes?

Me: Make every word 4 letters long.

Geni: Wish Gran.

Me: Make every word start with "br".

Genie: Brsh Bran.

Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"