Women jokes

A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.

The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.

"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.

Now it’s $3.99.

I like my women like I like my chocolate.

Edible.

I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Without other people's dicks in it.

How many genders are there?

One, women are property.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.

You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"