Woman jokes
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.
Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.
Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》
The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》
Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
"COVERBITCH, your worthless."
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.