Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Oh Lois,that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid.
how do u cut your grass without a lawnmower? - u dye it blue and it will cut itself
Y can't a orphan read He couldn't go to school without a parents signature
what game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
tic tac toe.
You are my compass, without you, I’m lost.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8 year old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining. Probably because she was already dead
how did you get sally into a blender? -without much resistance how do you get sally out of a blender? -tortilla chips
My mom is a chemistry teacher. Mom: you can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back Me: tell that to my FU*KING CRUSH B*TCH
What do you call a fly without wings
-
A walk
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Kenny Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted. Tyler: Why? Kenny: Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest.
i like my women like i like my coffee
without other peoples dicks in it
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'uno, dos...' and poof. He disappears without a tres."
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing
You cant spell Funeral without fun.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
