Will jokes

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

Why will America always lose in chess?

It lost its two towers!

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.