Why jokes
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"
And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"
Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."
The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."
Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"
Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."
Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...
THE END
Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.