Why jokes
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Memes
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.