Why jokes
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?
So the orphans can see their parents.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.