Why jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Memes
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"