Why jokes
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.