Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? -- He took a day off.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Do you know why i wish grass was emo, so it can cut itself.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge”.
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? -- It needed to be checked out.
Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.
Why was ten scared ?
Because it was in the middle of 9.11
Why does the ice cream 🍨 have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why was the ant 🐜 so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
why did hitler never go to a strip club? he hated the poles
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? - Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?Because he can ́t do stand up.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning? A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
