Why jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Memes
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.