Why jokes

Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.

Why is he ourple?

Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?

Because they ate all the bats!

Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?

Her dog was blind, too.

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

Why are so many people mean to orphans?

They can’t cry to their parents.

One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"

Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."

The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"

Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."

The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"

Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

Why did the octopus blush?

He saw the bottom of the ocean.

Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.

Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?

Because he did nazi it coming!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?

Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

Priest: Why?

Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Person: Why?

Me: Because he wanted to.

So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"