Why jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?
Because they can't have homemade meals.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.