Why jokes
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Memes
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.