Why jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Memes
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.