Why jokes
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
Memes
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why can't Juice WRLD play COD Zombies? He can't handle 6 perks.
Why is there AC in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.