Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year
me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? friend: why? me: they have a history of separating colors
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys pants were half off!
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They Dont Have mothers or fathers day.
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
Why do orphans go to church? So they have someone to call father
Chuck Norris has been to Mars...that's why there is no signs of life there.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
3 Drunk men get in a taxi, the driver knew they were drunk so he started the car and turned it off. the first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver, the driver surprised that he noticed so he askes why and the third man replies with ̈why did you drive so fast. ̈
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
Why did the electron leave the atom? Because it had its Ion someone else.
