Why jokes
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."