"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
Why Jokes
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."
Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
