me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? friend: why? me: they have a history of separating colors
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys pants were half off!
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They Dont Have mothers or fathers day.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year
Why can't an orphan be gay?? Because they don't have anyone to call daddy ( My bad if this offended anyone)
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
Why do orphans go to church? So they have someone to call father
why did hitler never go to a strip club? he hated the poles
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars...that's why there is no signs of life there.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
