Why jokes
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.